media literacy, some personal motivation, and "Mouthwashing"

I was deep into Mouthwashing when it first came out, and it was pretty much instantly an indie horror smash-hit. Weirdly enough, my sort of ranting post on Dispatch reminded me of Mouthwashing... unfortunately. Don't get me wrong, it's a great game--and in my opinion, handles a really sensitive, complex topic, way better than Dispatch did. The issue lies in the fan's reception of Mouthwashing, and how they reacted to the main character being a terrible person. Spoilers ahead for the events of the game, and trigger warning for sensitive topics of sexual assault, suicide, and rape.

https://bossrush.net/2025/01/26/game-review-mouthwashing-is-a-disturbing-gem/, I hope this hurts.

This is going to take a while to recap, but I'm gonna try to give the rundown of Mouthwashing the best I can--I probably wont cover anything, but I'll hit main points. I really recommend playing this game for yourself if you haven't. Anyways, Mouthwashing is an indie psychological horror game taking place on a spaceship, the Tulpar, when a mysterious crash leaves the crew stranded in space. The crash leaves Curly, the captain, horribly maimed and unable to move or speak. The co-pilot, Jimmy, then takes up the role of captain, while also accusing Curly of causing the crash. The story is told in a more nonlinear way, rather than purely chronological--with events happening in seemingly random order. The player controls a first person perspective, jumping between a couple of the characters in the game (although Mouthwashing does a good job of making you question who it is you're playing as, forcing you to piece this puzzle together). The supplies on the ship begin to run low after two months, the crew opens the confidential shipment they were originally tasked with delivering, only to find that every single box contains bottles of mouthwash.

Needless to say, the crew is pretty disappointed--and some of the crew comes to terms with the fact that they are likely going to die, stranded in space, over a shipment of mouth wash. One of the characters, Swansea, falls back into his alcoholic tendencies and begins to drink the mouth wash to cope. Anya, the medic on the ship, is determined to keep Curly alive (although she struggles, maybe due to fear, to help Curly take his pain medications), and otherwise see that everyone is accounted for. And there's Daisuke, the light-hearted intern who honestly just tries to be helpful and nice (I like Daisuke a lot). Described by Swansea as a "useless ray of goddamn sunshine." And even Daisuke, as sweet as he is, isn't safe from the fate of Mouthwashing. He isn't safe from Jimmy.

The main character you play as is actually Jimmy, with some kind of flash-back sequences (the game is nonlinear so it's hard to define a flash-back, but you get what I mean) where you play as Curly--of course, before he lost all his limbs and skin in the crash (when I said maimed earlier, I meant it. Like, capital "M" maimed). During the crazy, disjointed story beats of the game, it's eventually revealed that Swansea--after getting really drunk--was defending the only functioning cryopod on the ship. The rest had been damaged in the crash. Jimmy claims he was defending it for himself, but at this point in the game, somethings about Jimmy have started to seem... well, off. I mean, in order to even discover this cryopod, you have to make a cocktail for Swansea so strong that it guarantees he passes out. Not really hero behavior if you ask me.

But anyways, through this utility room is a ventilation system that connects to the medical bay. And for some reason, Anya has locked herself in the medical bay, alone with Curly. Jimmy coerces Daisuke to crawl through the vents in order to reach them, and does, only to be severely injured. As an act of mercy, Swansea kills Daisuke to put him out of his misery. Jimmy calls him a monster. Oh and also, we find out that Anya had killed herself by overdosing on pain killers intended for Curly--and Curly was still alive. Now tasked with retrieving the captains' gun, Jimmy successfully finds the code to the briefcase, hidden beneath Curly's bed, and takes the gun. And Curly laughs.

If you're keeping track, that leaves three characters alive: Swansea, Jimmy, and Curly.

We find out what is likely the reason Anya took her own life in one of these weird flashbacks, while the player is controlling Curly. Anya confronts us in one of the most popular, chilling scenes of the game. Anya asks how much longer they have on the shipment delivery. Curly replies, around 237 days. Anya cuts him off, saying that's just under 8 months. And then, after a moment, she asks:

"Hey. Why do you think Pony Express put a lock on the medical room door but not in the sleeping quarters?"

To which Curly replies, "Hmm. I suppose for the same reason they put a lock on the cockpit. SAFETY." And the word flashes on the screen for a moment, blocking out the player's vision, before jumping forward four months after the crash.

Anya reveals explicitly in a later cutscene that she's pregnant. Based on this scene, and the one depicted above, it is implied that she was raped. And it was Jimmy who did it.

There is a really heavy theme of responsibility in this game, with both Curly and Jimmy uttering some variation of the phrase "I can fix it" all throughout. And yet, in a moment where it is imperative to take responsibility, to admit to such a horrendous act, and he doesn't. First of all, Curly doesn't immediately accuse Jimmy of anything, he comforts him--which is a huge red flag. And as if this isn't weird enough, Jimmy turns around and accuses Curly for not having control over the ship, the crew, everything that happened... Jimmy tells him that it was Curly's responsibility.

I'm sorry, what? It's obvious that Jimmy is like, a super-manipulator, carefully crafting the situation where he would benefit the most. Remember at the beginning, with the whole space ship crashing being the main conflict of the story? Well, that opening cut scene seemed to be from Curly's perspective--since he was the captain. But it was Jimmy, actually. He crashed the space ship as a way to erase his guilt; his logic was that if they all died, no one would have to know what he did. He would "fix it."

The game ends in weird, dream-like sequences, commanding you (playing as Jimmy) to take responsibility, first by bringing Curly's body to the dining table where he and all of his dead crewmates eat Curly's leg (though if you pay attention, whenever the camera is not in Jimmy's perspective, everyone is slumped over and dead at the table. He and Curly are still alive, so it's pretty heavily implied that Jimmy actually ate part of Curly's leg--especially with the whole minigame later that makes you feed a piece of Curly's leg to Curly himself. I mean seriously this stuff is crazy messed-up). The you shoot Swansea. Then there's a whole thing with like, a horse fetus, and really this ending point really makes you question what game it is you're playing. But finally, Jimmy carries Curly's mangled body to the only remaining cryopod and places him inside. And then he walks away and shoots himself. His final words are "I fixed it."

This post is already way longer than my others, with my long-winded explanation; but I think it's really necessary to understand that Mouthwashing, while I tried to summarize as simply as possible, is still an extremely nuanced story about responsibility, trust, existential dread in working under capitalism, and inaction/enabling of others. Curly isn't really a good guy, and Jimmy sure as hell isn't either. One of them is a rapist and murderer, and the other comforted the rapist and murderer instead of the real victims. But Mouthwashing isn't that reductive of its story; Curly is an especially complex character. In being the captain of a ship, responsibility is expected of him. When his right hand does something unforgivable, he freezes up. He watches as Jimmy spirals out of control while the rest of the crew suffers--especially Anya. He falters every time he should stand his ground, he takes one step forward only to take two steps back. He's not as evil as Jimmy, but he is extremely flawed.

When this game first came out, like I said, it was a smash hit. But then I think it reached the wrong crowd--an audience that completely misinterpreted the story, and especially the characters. I think I remember seeing posts criticizing Anya (of all characters) for taking her life while she was pregnant. I also saw people arguing that Jimmy wasn't that bad, and also that Curly deserved what happened to him. I think these takes are all wrong. Like I said before, Curly isn't a good guy by any means, but he is still a victim in this story--he's a painfully human character that just absolutely fumbles over and over again. And also, Anya being pregnant does not remove her agency, nor does it remove the fact that what had happened to her was literally life-altering and forced upon her. Really, the only person that wasn't a victim on the Tulpar was Jimmy himself--because everything was pretty much his fault.

It seems that wave of really strange interpretations has passed now, but there was a point in time where I saw some really tone-deaf stuff surrounding what Jimmy did to Anya specifically. Remnants linger here and there, as a grim reminder of the varying level of media literacy in video games.

It's pretty disheartening to see a wonderful story like Mouthwashing get wildly misinterpreted. I think in viewing video games as an art form, the same careful attention needs to be attributed to them. I think that's part of the reason I write this blog in the first place. Video games have become such a wonderful medium to tell complex, ambitious stories. When carefully picking apart a novel for it's themes, metaphors, motifs, it takes time to do so. It's the same for video games--it takes careful analysis of what you're reading, hearing, seeing. And saying something like "Curly deserved to be horrifically maimed," or that "Jimmy is just misunderstood," is like saying that someone like Richard Papen in Donna Tartt's The Secret History is actually a good guy (he isn't, by the way). Look from all angles. Think deeply about the media you're ingesting. If you hate a character, why? How did a piece of media make you feel that? How does a piece of media make you feel anything? How can you tell a character is good or evil, or both? Or neither? How does the setting impact the character's motivations, how do other characters impact each other?

Video games aren't just Space Invaders or Galaga anymore (no hate to them though, gotta love the classics)--and they haven't been for a long time. Video games now are capable of telling some of the greatest stories I've ever heard, but only if you're willing to listen for them.

Anyways, I'll end this with one of my favorite scenes, right before Swansea dies. Jimmy tells him, "Swansea. I'm going to fix everything. We're going to make it." And Swansea, tied to a chair and with a gun pointed to his head, only has two words to say to Jimmy:

"Fuck you."